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When to Transfer Assets to Qualify for Medicaid?

by Maria on January 10, 2012

in Planning Care

It’s a topic I’ve not yet covered on this blog, but one that I’m asked about consistently by adult daughters and sons alike:

When should I transfer assets so that my aging parent qualifies for Medicaid?

The most recent person to broach the subject with me was Michael from New York City.  His mother had a stroke in 2009 that left her with severe short-term memory loss.

  • She can’t drive, plan meals, or cook for herself.
  • She despises Meals-on-Wheels.
  • She takes some medications to prevent seizures and others to help with the memory loss.
  • She lives in a condo and wants to stay there with supportive services (no live-in caregivers thank you very much).

BUT…

Michael’s sister is insisting on moving mom to an assisted living facility. Michael feels this is premature and will wipe out mom’s assets and send her to a nursing home earlier than necessary.

“So,” he asks me, “should we transfer assets so that she qualifies for Medicaid?” [click to continue…]

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When Your Mother-In-Law Wants to Move In and It’s Not What You Want

by Maria on January 6, 2012

in Planning Care

A reader I’ll call Margaret got in touch recently to ask about the mother (pun intended!) of all planning care conundrums: her mother-in-law wants to move in…

Dear Maria,

My mother-in-law has decided she doesn’t want to live alone any longer and wants to sell her big house. My husband and I agree completely (her short-term memory is getting really bad, the house is very big and remotely located).

Without consulting us, she planned to “rent a room” in our home. However, when she shared this plan, my husband said [click to continue…]

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What Do Family Caregivers Need Most? In a Word – Support.

January 3, 2012

A few weeks ago a reader I’ll call Cara got in touch to tell me about her mom Jeannie.  Recently divorced and concerned for her father’s health, Jeannie moved her father into her home. Immediately, there were benefits. Dad liked the companionship he’d been missing since his wife died, and Jeannie liked biding adieu to [...]

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How To Overcome Feeling Overwhelmed

December 31, 2011

Last week I cracked the crown on “tooth #30″. It hurt. But not as much as the pain that would have come with replacing it with my out-of-network dentist…$750. “No way,” said my husband. I shared his sentiment and so the hunt for an in-network dentist who would see me fast began. I was lucky [...]

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Two Reasons to Hire A Geriatric Care Manager Now

December 8, 2011

I have the utmost respect for geriatric care managers, but I’m also a realist about the fact that not everyone can afford one. However, even when money is tight, there are a few instances in which the cost of a geriatric care manager is well worth it. Below are the top two reasons to hire [...]

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Three Things You Should Know About Sub-Acute Rehab (SAR)

December 5, 2011

Picture it: Your 89 year old father falls, breaks a hip and spends a week in the hospital. The discharge plan is not to home, but to Sub-Acute Rehab (SAR) — a fancy term for short-term, low-intensity rehabilitation that most often occurs inside of a nursing home. This is a scenario that plays out thousands [...]

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This Is Me, Giving Thanks

November 23, 2011

Creating this website was as big a goal as I’d ever set.  It seemed difficult and improbable.  I wasn’t sure where to begin or how I’d find my way. I didn’t want to pay someone to show me. During this time I e-mailed other bloggers a lot.  Most responded with encouragement, but two in particular [...]

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When Dad Eats Little and Often the Wrong Things

November 21, 2011

Thanksgiving, the day when most of us throw caution to the wind and eat until we’re uncomfortable or until the Tryptophan puts us to sleep — whichever comes first — is just days away. That makes this question from Barbara in Elyria, Ohio so timely. She writes: “My father who is 94 does not want to [...]

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How to Help Dad Let Go of the Car Keys

November 10, 2011

If your aging parent has dementia (and even if he/she doesn’t), the thought of him/her driving is most definitely enough to keep you up at night. What if they forget the route home? What if their reflexes aren’t so good and they get hit by a speeding car from the side or worse, they hit [...]

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Does Your Aging Parent Try to Walk All Over You?

November 3, 2011

I loved my paternal grandmother, but I didn’t like her much. That’s the truth, and now that I’ve written it I’m certain that my mother will gasp when she sees these words.  Not because she felt all that differently than I did, but because it isn’t nice to say. Sorry, Mom.  Sometimes Grandma wasn’t nice. She’d grown [...]

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I Want to Talk. Will You Listen? What People with Alzheimer’s Are Communicating Through Repetition

October 31, 2011

It’s really, really hard.  In the course of an hour, mom may have asked you the same question 60 or more times.  You’re tired and deflated.  You don’t know how to manage the situation or to move on with her to something else.  You’ve learned through experience that trying to reason with her, to convince her that she [...]

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Go Ahead, Be Angry. It’s Really Okay.

October 24, 2011

I attended an event this past week where a published author asked me to share a bit about my blog before offering up some thoughts on the type of book I might write related to my chosen topic of elder care.  “I think a book that compiled a number of uplifting stories related to caregiving [...]

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You Have A “Right” to A Life Separate From Caregiving

October 13, 2011

This is week three of my nine-week countdown of the caregivers’ bill of rights discussed in Jo Horne’s book Caregiving: Helping An Aging Loved One. Did you miss weeks one and two? I can recap them in just a few words: You Have a Right to Take Care of Yourself and A Right To Seek [...]

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Is Your Aging Parent’s Doctor Good Enough?

October 10, 2011

As we get older, having a good doctor (or a team of them) in our corner becomes incredibly important. And you don’t want just any doctor for your mom/dad (or for you!).  Smarts, signs of basic compassion and a few other things are essential for the relationship to work… Good Doctor Quality #1: Listening skills [...]

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