One of the most important life lessons my mother ever taught me is one that I think is particularly useful for the adult daughters and sons out there who are searching for local services for their aging parents.
Are you ready? Here it is:
Whenever someone agrees to assist you with something, always ask for his/her name and write it down along with the date.
If I could supplement mom’s advice just a smidge I’d add that you ought to organize this info like you would a call log and keep it in a safe place.
The logic is so simple and yet so profound.
If you’re speaking with someone who isn’t likely to follow-up, then his or her name (first and last) is like a little insurance policy on the time you’ve just invested in speaking with him or her. And if you get lucky and stumble upon a true gem of a human being (Hallelujah!), then learning his or her name is downright vital.
Why?
Because caring for an aging parent can feel at times like floating in rough seas; when you find someone who distributes flotation devices, it’s best not to lose track of them. (Conversely, those who leave you out there to drown despite your repeated pleas for help should be avoided at all costs and you should consider using their name to enlighten their supervisors!)
However, there’s something even more significant at play here when it comes to grabbing names, something that goes well beyond merely having recourse if the service or the information promised never arrives.
That something has to do with building connections.
This is the real reason that my mother (a.k.a. Queen of the Name Grabbers) never ends a phone call without providing her name and asking the person on the other end of the line for theirs — her ultimate goal is to connect, to begin to matter to the person with whom she is speaking. If she’s successful, she knows that he or she will be more apt to help her.
The more experience I gain the more convinced I become that this kind of personal connection is the key to getting good service in life (among other things)…
So…
Find yourself a dependable pen and a notebook that fits comfortably in your everyday purse or briefcase and promise yourself that from this day forward you will record the names of anyone and everyone who offers assistance to on your journey through caregiving. Before long you’ll be name grabbing like a pro!
Not sure how to slip this question into the conversation?
No problem.
Here’s a tried and true example from my mother’s “old-school” playbook.
My mom: “Well yes, I would so appreciate it if you could get back to me with that information…Tomorrow would be fine! And your name is?”
Oh yeah. And try to ask with a smile. 
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Do you think that “getting a name” has helped you to get better service? What else has worked for you? Let me know by leaving a comment!
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excellent site and perspective!