Caregiver Support

What Do Family Caregivers Need Most? In a Word – Support.

January 3, 2012

A few weeks ago a reader I’ll call Cara got in touch to tell me about her mom Jeannie.  Recently divorced and concerned for her father’s health, Jeannie moved her father into her home. Immediately, there were benefits. Dad liked the companionship he’d been missing since his wife died, and Jeannie liked biding adieu to [...]

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How To Overcome Feeling Overwhelmed

December 31, 2011

Last week I cracked the crown on “tooth #30″. It hurt. But not as much as the pain that would have come with replacing it with my out-of-network dentist…$750. “No way,” said my husband. I shared his sentiment and so the hunt for an in-network dentist who would see me fast began. I was lucky [...]

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Does Your Aging Parent Try to Walk All Over You?

November 3, 2011

I loved my paternal grandmother, but I didn’t like her much. That’s the truth, and now that I’ve written it I’m certain that my mother will gasp when she sees these words.  Not because she felt all that differently than I did, but because it isn’t nice to say. Sorry, Mom.  Sometimes Grandma wasn’t nice. She’d grown [...]

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Go Ahead, Be Angry. It’s Really Okay.

October 24, 2011

I attended an event this past week where a published author asked me to share a bit about my blog before offering up some thoughts on the type of book I might write related to my chosen topic of elder care.  “I think a book that compiled a number of uplifting stories related to caregiving [...]

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You Have A “Right” to A Life Separate From Caregiving

October 13, 2011

This is week three of my nine-week countdown of the caregivers’ bill of rights discussed in Jo Horne’s book Caregiving: Helping An Aging Loved One. Did you miss weeks one and two? I can recap them in just a few words: You Have a Right to Take Care of Yourself and A Right To Seek [...]

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You Have A “Right” to Seek Help From Others

October 6, 2011

Welcome to week #2 of my nine week countdown of the caregivers’ bill of rights discussed in Jo Horne’s book Caregiving: Helping An Aging Loved One.  Last week I revealed that you have the right to take care of yourself.  Yup — that’s right, people.  We’re talking earth-shattering news here. For those of you still [...]

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You Have A “Right” to Take Care of Yourself

September 29, 2011

For the next nine weeks I’ll be counting down the family caregivers’ rights discussed in Jo Horne’s book Caregiving: Helping An Aging Loved One.  Each one is really an affirmation — the kind you ought to repeat in a mirror, in the shower, or in the car as you go about your day. You know, [...]

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Reflections From the Frontlines: An Exhausted Family Caregiver Lives in the “Moment”

September 25, 2011

The message below was sent to me recently by an adult daughter caring for mom.  I’ve decided to post it in its entirety because I think it illustrates so beautifully the uphill climb that caring for an aging parent can sometimes feel like. Those of you who think you’re alone in your exhaustion (and in [...]

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On Taking Vacation

June 27, 2011

Over the weekend I attended a wedding where, as is often the case, I found myself in the ladies room chatting with other women. In between the rituals of hand washing and lipstick reapplication in the over-sized mirror, one woman’s comment about the day’s perfect weather led another to share how much she’d like a [...]

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What Makes A Support Group Worthwhile

June 13, 2011

Twelve years ago I was a social work intern charged with running a voluntary support group for male teens recovering from drug abuse.  The setting was a small, outpatient mental health clinic and I was worried that no one would show. But slowly, and to my great surprise, they did show.  What’s more, the members [...]

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How To Deal with Anger That Comes From Mom or Dad

April 23, 2011

A few years back, Jeannie contacted me for help with her “angry mother”… “I feel like I’m going crazy, Maria, and I’m exhausting myself in the process. Ever since my mom’s health started to decline, nothing I do for her is ever enough.  She’s ungrateful and nasty…I feel like I’m at the end of my [...]

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How To Avoid Caregiver Burnout

April 17, 2011

Are there moments when caregiving makes you want to scream? Any number of things related to caring for your aging parent can cause you to feel like you’re at the end of the proverbial rope including: your relationship with your parent elements of your work life/family life which are separate from, but inextricably linked to, [...]

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Where Are All the Happy Caregiving Endings?

April 11, 2011

Okay, I admit it. I have a new favorite past time… Every few days I dig into my Google Analytics to find out how folks find my site. I’d imagine that my new activity is a bit like dumpster diving (although I’ve never done that) – lots of useless pieces of information to be uncovered, [...]

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“Caring For An Aging Parent Will Mean the End of My Career”

March 14, 2011

A few days ago, someone typed these words into Google and landed on my site. Without knowing anything about the circumstances that led her (or him) to begin a search with such an incredibly powerful statement, I’m almost certain that (s)he speaks for some of you. And while this isn’t the kind of sentiment that [...]

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