Maria’s Mailbox

Arguing with Alzheimer’s

April 9, 2012

Dear Maria, My 27-year old daughter complains that my 84-year old mother with Alzheimer’s says mean and hurtful things to her on purpose. She gets so hurt and angry that she will start yelling at my mother. When I try to get my daughter to realize it’s the Alzheimer’s making grandma act that way she [...]

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Home or Nursing Home?

April 5, 2012

Maria, Mom is in a nursing home/rehab to recuperate from a broken leg – the latest in a long list of injuries and illnesses over the last several years. She insists she wants to go home with the help of an aide but my 87-year-old stepfather does not feel that he can take care of [...]

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Affording Incontinence Supplies Without Medicaid

April 2, 2012

Dear Maria, Dad is incontinent and is not able to afford the products he needs. I do the best I can, but I’m broke too.  He keeps dipping into his funeral savings, which is obviously not good. There has to be a way I can get these for him at least cheaper.  He has Medicare [...]

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Medi-Cal vs. Medicaid

March 29, 2012

Hi Maria, My mom already has Medi-Cal and Medicare. Would she also qualify for Medicaid as well, and what’s the difference? I’m asking because she has incontinence and I have tried to get the supplies through Medicare, but they aren’t covered, so I pay for them. The cost adds up and I’m wondering if there’s [...]

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Long Term Care: “When the Money Runs Out, What’s Next?”

October 3, 2011

A recent visitor named Joan sent me a question that I just know is on the tip of many of your tongues. Here are the facts: Mom is 85 years old. She’s in good health despite having early dementia. The only hands-on assistance she requires at this point is help in managing her money which [...]

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Maria’s Mailbox: Should Dad Be Driving?

March 10, 2011

Dear Maria, My brother called and asked for advice that I can’t give. So maybe you could help? Dad had always been very independent and somewhat private. Severe coughing caused him to voluntarily stop driving for about 2 years but his health has improved, although his hearing and eyesight haven’t. Also, sometimes he is a [...]

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Maria’s Mailbox: PACE – An Innovative Approach to Long-Term Care

February 20, 2011

Dear Maria: My mother is 89 and lives alone.  She’s managing, but I worry that one fall could change the whole picture and my top priority is to keep her at home and out of a nursing home. We can’t afford to hire help because she is on Medicaid and her only source of income [...]

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Maria’s Mailbox: When Siblings Need Reminding of All You Do For Mom

January 31, 2011

Dear Maria: Last night I sat down at my computer and asked my three brothers to consider sending me a gift of money in light of all I do to care for our mother. Today I feel sick and ugly and crass for doing so. I also feel really angry. Why couldn’t my brothers come up with [...]

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