Planning Care

When to Transfer Assets to Qualify for Medicaid?

January 10, 2012

It’s a topic I’ve not yet covered on this blog, but one that I’m asked about consistently by adult daughters and sons alike: When should I transfer assets so that my aging parent qualifies for Medicaid? The most recent person to broach the subject with me was Michael from New York City.  His mother had [...]

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When Your Mother-In-Law Wants to Move In and It’s Not What You Want

January 6, 2012

A reader I’ll call Margaret got in touch recently to ask about the mother (pun intended!) of all planning care conundrums: her mother-in-law wants to move in… Dear Maria, My mother-in-law has decided she doesn’t want to live alone any longer and wants to sell her big house. My husband and I agree completely (her [...]

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Three Things You Should Know About Sub-Acute Rehab (SAR)

December 5, 2011

Picture it: Your 89 year old father falls, breaks a hip and spends a week in the hospital. The discharge plan is not to home, but to Sub-Acute Rehab (SAR) — a fancy term for short-term, low-intensity rehabilitation that most often occurs inside of a nursing home. This is a scenario that plays out thousands [...]

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When Dad Eats Little and Often the Wrong Things

November 21, 2011

Thanksgiving, the day when most of us throw caution to the wind and eat until we’re uncomfortable or until the Tryptophan puts us to sleep — whichever comes first — is just days away. That makes this question from Barbara in Elyria, Ohio so timely. She writes: “My father who is 94 does not want to [...]

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Is Your Aging Parent’s Doctor Good Enough?

October 10, 2011

As we get older, having a good doctor (or a team of them) in our corner becomes incredibly important. And you don’t want just any doctor for your mom/dad (or for you!).  Smarts, signs of basic compassion and a few other things are essential for the relationship to work… Good Doctor Quality #1: Listening skills [...]

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Long Term Care: “When the Money Runs Out, What’s Next?”

October 3, 2011

A recent visitor named Joan sent me a question that I just know is on the tip of many of your tongues. Here are the facts: Mom is 85 years old. She’s in good health despite having early dementia. The only hands-on assistance she requires at this point is help in managing her money which [...]

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“Have Mom Live with Me or Move Her to a Nursing Home?”

September 5, 2011

Is this the debate that’s raging in your head? I’m not surprised.  And rest assured — you’ve got company. I often receive questions through this site from adult children who are standing at this particular crossroads. The decision of where mom or dad should live is bearing down on their shoulders and they’re tired (exhausted, [...]

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The Game Changers

March 25, 2011

A person’s life and that of his/her family can be changed instantaneously and irrevocably by illness and/or injury…. And although we can become ill or injured ant any age, there’s no doubt that age increases this risk. In my work over the past several years with older adults and their family caregivers, three health “events” [...]

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A Guide to Planning Care in the Middle Stage of Alzheimer’s Disease

February 14, 2011

“Maybe I really can’t manage my father’s needs at home on my own.” If I had to pick just one sentiment to best capture what adult daughters and sons of those in the middle stage of Alzheimer’s are thinking, this would be it.  The thought is born of sheer exhaustion mixed with the realization that [...]

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A Long Term Care Option Befitting of the Golden Girls

February 7, 2011

Would your aging parent prefer to live in his/her home or move to a retirement community like Shady Pines? It’s okay – you don’t have to answer that because I’m pretty sure I know what you’re going to say.  But what if your father is a substitute teacher like Dorothy Zbornak was? Or maybe your [...]

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Five Reasons It’s Not Time For A Nursing Home

January 19, 2011

Think your aging parent should move to a room in a nursing home like the one in the picture? The answer is, maybe.  But then again, maybe not.  To be sure when it’s time for a nursing home, you first need to be sure about when it isn’t time. To move or not to move… [...]

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Three Ways to Help Mom Manage Her Medications

January 10, 2011

Does your aging parent take the rainbow approach to managing medications? You know — a pink one after breakfast, two yellows and a green at lunch, followed by two blues at bed time? Using color and shape to distinguish one medication from another is a surprisingly common short-hand practiced by many older adults.  Heck, it [...]

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Helping Dad Say Yes To Home Care

January 6, 2011

That’s it!  That’s the look I know you’ve seen! You have just finished talking with your father about hiring help with daily activities and this is the expression on his face.  He is not happy.  He does not want someone in his home. And if you don’t believe anything else I say, you can be [...]

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Four Things To Look For The Next Time You Visit Dad

September 22, 2010

I’m often asked by adult daughters and sons to talk about the warning signs that should raise concern when they are visiting their parents.  It’s an important topic to be sure and through experience, I’ve arrived at some very specific advice. Here goes… The Warning Signs: 1) Weight loss of more than a few pounds. [...]

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