Get Organized

Feeling just a tinge overwhelmed by the care you are providing to an aging parent?

One of the best ways to combat that in-over-your-head feeling is to get organized and that’s what this section is all about.

Experience has taught me that there are three action steps needed here to get a leg up on all there is to do. Here they are:

1) Reach for the Basics

Family caregiving is unpredictable and it requires that you be ready at a moment’s notice.  If you’ve just begun to assist a family member (and even if you’ve been at it a while), my best advice is to complete health care proxy and financial power of attorney (POA) forms with your aging parents as soon as possible.

These legal documents are the epitome of what it means to get organized and they will enable you to make crucial decisions (if needed) down the road. Be sure to keep copies in a safe place!

Family caregivers move from one task to the next with lightening speed.  To survive at this pace you’ll need to make use of every spare moment.  The first step is to make sure you’ve got these five essentials items with you at all times. Hint: If you’ve got a smartphone you’re ahead of the game!

Okay last comment on the nitty-gritty elements of getting organized.  (Listen up all you Type As out there – this ones’ for you!) Here’s a checklist of all the most important documents you’re most likely to need in an emergency.  Gather them all and you’ll thank me for it.

2) Look at What’s Working and What’s Not

Having a firm grasp on the areas where your aging parents need assistance is critically important to getting organized.

But what if you don’t live near your parents and don’t see them often? Well, you’re in luck because what’s not working will likely stand out to you like a sore thumb! Seriously though, at any given moment in your caregiving I think there are few things you can do that are more important than taking a step back and asking yourself about what’s working and what’s not with the picture.  This will save you from sweating the small stuff and help to focus your time and efforts on the areas that really need attention.

• So, Dad seems depressed and Mom’s health is declining – Now what?

Start a list with these observations at the top.  But don’t stop there. Look closer and make note of what’s going well in your parents’ current set-up and what you wouldn’t want to change for anything.  Is there a neighbor across the street whose company your mother enjoys? What about the local store where everyone knows your father?

Every situation has elements that are positive and that enhance your parents’ quality of life.  Part of getting organized is identifying what these elements are so that when you begin to plan for care with your parent, you are taking the full picture of things into account.

3) Prepare, prepare and, oh yeah, prepare.

Being in the thick of family caregiving can feel a lot like taking a pop quiz that tests your knowledge of topics you’ve never studied.  Medicare Part D, completing insurance claim forms, the difference between a “skilled” need and an “unskilled” need.  For the most part, you’ll learn the elder care processes, programs and terms as you go.  But I do think there are ways to prepare in the “big picture” sense that will help you to adjust to the role of caregiver.  So here’s my best advice:

• Anticipate unforeseen costs
  

Providing care to an aging parent often comes with considerable out-of-pocket expenses.  If you’re a long-distance caregiver, travel is likely the most significant, but there are most certainly others.  These costs sneak up on you (mom’s medication for Parkinson’s costs WHAT?!?) and bleed your bank account dry in no time.  In my experience, the very first lesson a family member learns when they begin caregiving is that Medicare is not the comprehensive plan they thought it was.  Which leads me to…

• Put your own financial house in order as soon as possible

The message here (which I hope you receive loud and clear) is that it is NOT okay for you to “go under” financially in order to pay for the care that your aging parent needs.

You can assist, and I’m certain that you will and do, but the reality is that you need to prepare for your own future too which means you will need your savings.  So, set some financial goals for yourself and stick to them.  This will help you identify where the wiggle room is (if any) in providing financial assistance to mom or dad.

• Get to know your parent’s health status

Do you know if your parent suffers from any chronic diseases?  If your aging parent is over the age of 65, chances are good that he/she has at least two.  Doing a bit of research so that you can begin to get a picture of what may be to come for your parent is time well spent.

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Have I left you with more questions than answers?  Sorry about that.  I’m here so let me have ‘em.